Monthly Archives: March 2011


28 March 2011

The english language needs a word for “Shit we love even though it’s shit”. In fact, I’m going to make a word for it right now: Unikeft. I can say, unequivocally, that Zack Snyder’s work is normally unikeft. 300? I loved that movie. I wouldn’t recommend it to my worst enemy on their best day, but I loved it. I had thought that Sucker Punch would be a fairly mundane bit of unikeft as well. It has all the markers of proper unikeft: Slow motion action sequences, highly stilted unreal CG, exploitative outfits and unconvincing declarations of “empowerment” rattled off by a white male director.

I knew, from the moment I saw the trailer, that Sucker Punch would be a bad film. I just thought it’d be decent unikeft as well. Unfortunately… it just isn’t. You have to have the movie basically spoiled to understand why, but I think it’s worth knowing the ending if you plan to watch it. So you should check out Annalee Newitz’s review at IO9. She’s about the only person on the planet (aside from my immediate family and my significant other) who’s allowed to spoil movies for me.

And it’s quite the spoiler. It really does spoil the movie. Sucker Punch isn’t Unikeft, it’s just plain bad. It convinces itself that it has depth and meaning, which it then uses as an excuse to ruin a perfectly undecent bit of cinema into unwatchability.

Damn you Annalee Newitz why must you tread on my dreams? I just wanted to see a girl kill a gatling-gun-weilding-giant-samurai with a sword in slow motion. Is that so wrong?

Now THAT is unikeft. I love this image. I cannot defend it on any intellectual level, but I love it all the same. I wanted a movie of this, but for such a movie to be at least unikeft, it’d have to give the girl in this image some semblance of agency, growth, and personality. In other words, she needs to be a character. Sucker Punch doesn’t merely miss the mark in this department, it actively works against it.

Squandering that much cash and not at least giving us something unikeft in exchange, shouldn’t that be some kind of crime?

AN ADDENDUM – To better illustrate my point. I found the poster for the movie I wanted Sucker Punch to be:

Now that is a film I would’ve paid money to see… then flatly denied watching after the fact.

PA, what happened to you man? You used to be cool.

24 March 2011

Okay okay. Given the more balanced news post, I’m somewhat inclined to give this one a free ride. As is often the case with PA, their position gains nuance once Tycho starts talking. They’re not condoning the new Duke Nukem, and they’re unquestionably correct about Duke Nukem 3D’s indelible impact on the industry.

Still, as is often the case with PA, the deans of video game fandom have decided to discuss the gaming industry at length, while dismissing the crushing sexism of our fandom/industry as something beneath notice.

I was tempted to explain this at length. Then I realized something: No one reads what I say anyways. So, here’s my thoughts on PA’s “counter-argument”, brought to you by the power of Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V, and protected from legal action by the copyright exceptions for parody and transformative works*:

Thank you very much, good night.


P.S. – As I find I must ALWAYS say when I post about something serious: I welcome debate. If you disagree, please comment. However, while I welcome debate; Trolling and rambling bullshit are beneath my notice. Stay on topic. Debate me on the point I’m making, or I’ll delete your post. If you’re upset by this, you’re welcome to post whatever you want to post on your own blog.

* – Oh and see what I did there? The DMCA can take a long walk off a short pier.


9 March 2011

I’m shutting off twitter tools, because I can’t make it do what I want it to do. I’m tired of it clogging up Sunkenlibrary, and I’m clearly having trouble keeping up with the tweets and turning them into rational posts.

If you’re keen on keeping up with me on Twitter, you can follow me over at:!/longwing

I tend towards photo-blogging, so some actually neat stuff winds up over there. Sometime later, I’ll try to make a more graceful integration.


The New York Times owes someone an apology

9 March 2011

Oh hey, look at that, a real post for once.

So, first off, regardless of your background, this post is going to make you a little bit sick to the stomach. If your background includes certain varieties of ptsd, it’ll definitely include absolutely enormous triggers regarding rape. So if that’s a problem, just saying, this isn’t a light and fluffy thing I’m talking about today.

Earlier today, the New York Times reported on an extremely horrific crime in a small Texas community. The crime in question? The gang rape of an 11 year old girl by 18 boys/men. Here’s the actual article, behind one of their charming registration walls of course.

The article tries for a neutral tone, and to be totally honest, I don’t know if it’s going for neutrality-as-a-smokescreen or neutrality-out-of-soul-killing-naivete, either way, reading that article will treat you to an entire page of quotes and insinuations about how it’s the 11 year old’s fault (because of how she dressed, and because she hung out with teenagers), or about how it’s her mother’s fault (for not knowing where she was, and not knowing who she was hanging out with).

An 11 year old girl. Raped by 18 men. Who’s to blame here?

Look, that question on the previous line was a trick question. It’s a troll trap. Who’s to blame here? THE RAPISTS. I MEAN COME ON. DUH. But what does the NYT focus on? Pull quotes about how those poor boys will have to live with it for the rest of their lives. Who gives a shit what they have to live with? They gang raped an 11 year old girl.

Seriously. You can’t make this shit up. They raped her. They filmed it on fucking cellphone cameras. THEY BRAGGED ABOUT IT AT SCHOOL (the age range of the RAPISTS was middleschool up to 27 years old).

Rape is always rape. There aren’t “Degrees” of rape. There are no small rapes, no harmless rapes. I try to explain that to people, but you get a lot of resistance. Still, I thought THIS kind of crime was at least a little bit cut-and-dry. Sort of an easy case, you know? Not complicated?

If you feel, as I do, that the New York Times owes the victim of this crime an apology, please sign the petition from


Thanks to Maco for pointing this one out. Or thanks-ish. I’m glad I can say something about it, but miserable that it’s necessary.